Forgiveness is for Getting and for Giving!
The Bible declares that it is better to give than to receive. It’s even better to give of what we have received. And this is especially true of forgiveness, since God has granted us His forgiveness that we may also manifest the same attitude toward others.
Forgiveness is a fundamental human activity, long before it becomes a religious mandate. It is so central to life, just as what makes it necessary is so illustrative of human sin!
Just think of all the physical and emotional energy spent because of an unforgiving spirit! One’s very health and success in life are fully dependent on the ability to forgive. Author Doris Donnelly stated: “Like accident victims, people who need to forgive are injured, hurting, bleeding.”
Forgiveness, to be true and real, must be unconditional, like the one extended by the father of the prodigal son. He did not say to his returning boy, “I will forgive you if…” He was not selective in any way. And Jesus from the cross expressed an even greater dimension of genuine, unconditional forgiveness: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do!”
Before we can give something we need to have enough of that thing. We cannot give what we don’t have. If forgiveness is to emanate from us toward others who have injured us, we must first get it. Where do we go for it?
As Christians, we are the company of the forgiven. Having offended a holy and just God, we became objects of His grace and His love in Christ Jesus. “While we were yet sinners Christ died for us,” thus reconciling us to God. So, we can live daily with the experience of having been truly and fully forgiven, and if we continually “confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9).
Since forgiving is also for giving, I don’t advocate rushing into it. Some time is needed to heal the wounds and the pain one may face. Like good wine, preserve it for the right occasion, and make it commensurate to the offense.
But forgiveness is not to be denied to another. If you have already forgiven someone in your heart, verbalize your forgiveness. Make it tangible, concrete, real! Go to that son-in-law, or daughter-in-law, that neighbor, that fellow worker who gave you a hard time for so many years. If some of these no longer live, even so, just forgive that person. Hold no grudges any longer!
There is no end to forgiving. To Peter, Jesus once said one should forgive not seven times but seventy times seven, which means indefinitely. Life will take on a new, exciting dimension, once one realizes that forgiveness is for giving, not retaining.
You won’t believe the enormous release that comes through your unconditional forgiveness of others who harmed you; just like a heavy load taken from your arms and shoulders. In fact, the Hebrew word for forgiveness actually means “to have a weight lifted.” And that is the experience of those who truly forgive. With God’s help, you can do it anywhere, anytime, to anyone, regardless of the nature of the offense.
March 25th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
Good stuff.. I like it.
Something to think about when you think about forgiveness is the cost. It is, in fact, the most unfair thing in the world. If someone were to ask me ‘Why is the world not fair?’… I would reply ‘Well..because forgiveness isn’t fair..because our God isn’t fair’.
Forgiveness costs the forgiver. It doesn’t cost the one who needs it a dime, but it costs the forgiver everything. They have to pay the price to let go of their hurt, anger, obsession..whatever the case may be. The one who was already hurt now has to pay more in order to be whole again. Fair? No. But I’m sure glad it’s that way because that’s how it worked for us and God.
Still, it’s difficult. I still can’t find the words when a young teenage girl says to me ‘But my dad raped me.. you really think I should forgive him? You really think that’s right?’. And though it’s easy for me to think ‘yeah, you should’ right now.. When I see the look on their face, I just freeze..every time. I can’t tell them ‘This is going to cost you more…’.
Anyway.. like I said..good stuff.
Paint it purple,
-Bryan